About 10 years ago while I was working on my undergraduate degree, I was sitting in a stress-reduction class. A very bright young doctoral student was explaining some of the causes of stress, which he said were more important to understand than the myriad of stress-reduction techniques, and he used a term that has stuck with me since: tremendous trivials.

He related this oxymoron to married life or any relationship where two people cohabit. Some relationships can survive major trauma, from adultery to financial ruin. Other relationships fall apart over what many would view as completely innocuous or meaningless actions: “I can't stand the way you leave your toothbrush in the sink and your clothes on the floor anymore. I'm leaving you.” Many couples have filed for divorce citing irreconcilable differences — in other words, tremendous trivials.

These tremendous trivials apply in the fire service, as well, particularly in the progression from company officer to chief. There are thousands of management books that describe how to be more effective, efficient, compassionate, controlling, organized and visionary. What these books lack is the insight on how to recognize, educate or at the very least expose some of the simple details that must be identified while moving up the chain.

How long does it take a firefighter to move up the ranks? Let's say that a department requires seven years of experience before anyone can test for a company-officer position. How many interactions have chief officers had with this individual, with all the members who meet the requirements of promotion? Once in the position of company officer, how many more years does the department require to promote into the ranks of chief officer?

Most probably have had a relationship with these people for 10 years or more when they make the leap to chief officer. No doubt they have attended many professional development courses, leadership seminars and formal educational opportunities. We court these firefighters for years, promote them to chief officers and begin working with them on a fairly regular basis. This is like the dating period before deciding that some one is the one.

The next thing you know you're married, several years have gone by, and you swear someone else inhabits your loved-one's body. After a while, we wonder where those perfect employees went. This isn't based on their performances relative to managing tasks or programs, but on the way they leave their offices in disarray, arrive late for meetings or dress inappropriately for the workday. They aren't the Mr. and Mrs. Right you once knew.

Many will think they just can't manage these employees and that they should just order these new chief officers to get to meetings on time, clean up the office and dress appropriately. How well do those orders go over at home? And how much of time should be invested in such an interaction at work? Shouldn't these new chiefs inherently know what to do? Wouldn't they be expected to conform to this old way of doing business?

Often we overlook sharing the details of what is expected and required to be a chief officer. Usually, we just assume that these new chief officers will get it by osmosis; when they don't, we generally don't address those simple details because it just takes up too much time. Instead you begin to ask yourself why they don't get it. You knew you had to put in extra hours because you watched the last chief do it, so why are they leaving right on schedule everyday? When they skip department functions, is it because they think that being a chief officer means they can pick and choose what they attend?

Then you begin to see more and more small-ticket items that pop up. Maybe they aren't right for the job or maybe they're just not ready. They just don't get it. Are you going to have to do something about this, maybe demote them?

You just let tremendous trivials drive you all the way to a divorce with your new chief officers. We approach human resources with phrases like, “failed to transition appropriately into a higher level of management,” or something nice and bureaucratic when all we really need is a box to check titled, “irreconcilable differences.”

Almost every course on management teaches how important it is to let employees know what is expected of them. This is a critical task, but just as import is the need to detail the requirements of the chief officer position. It is more than just pinning the badge on and letting them learn by trail and error. It is sitting them down and letting them know exactly what comes with the package. This includes how to use a little political savvy when dealing with personnel or external customers such as city hall employees, elected officials, board members and more — much like learning how to deal with the in-laws.

You also might want to educate your new chief officers on how they should represent the organization, now and in the foreseeable future. One fairly young firefighter put on about 100 pounds over several years. He was married to a very attractive woman, who literally didn't grow with him. One day he was asked if he would be happy if his wife had put on 100 pounds. He replied: “Hell, no! I would have divorced her!” Sometimes we don't see what our behavior is doing, how it affect the other half, or if that even does.

Tell your new chief officers what your opinions are on their appearance and their attitude. Tell them what you think it means to wear the chief's uniform, how their office should look, what they should or shouldn't show up to, and what level you expect them to participate in officially and unofficially. Tell them what you would do if a chief were caught in conduct unbecoming, what time to show up to meetings, and when it is usual and customary to leave the office. Let them know that the promotion is a whole package of new responsibilities that carries with it different standards and requirements than when they were on the rig; maybe in your organization, chief officers don't need to jump up from a meeting to respond to a call. Tell them if you want to be informed about everything or only certain things, where you want decisions to be made, and when you want projects or programs brought forward.

A consultant named Michael Wade summed this entire issue up best when he explained that the number-one area bosses fail their employees, particularly their direct reports, is defining “what's mine, what's ours and what's yours.” This is an area that has helped me personally in being able to identify and control some of my own tremendous trivials.

Finally, make the new chief officers aware of how invaluable their commitment is to the department, how important their loyalty is to the administration they have chosen to join and, above all, how critical the enthusiasm they bring to the position is to the success of the organization. After all, if you went home to your loved ones every single day and let them know that you are and always will be as loyal, committed and happy as the day you met, pretty much everything would seem trivial, not tremendous.

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Mark Burdick began his career as a Glendale firefighter/paramedic in 1983, and rose through the ranks to become fire chief in 2001. He serves as president of the Arizona Fire Chiefs' Association. Burdick has a bachelor's degree in fire service management and a master's degree in human resources management. He also is a member of several professional organizations, including the International Association of Fire Chiefs, the National Fire Protection Association and the International City/County Managers Association. Burdick is an adjunct faculty member at Grand Canyon University. He teaches on several subjects related to the fire service.