When two individuals marry, they probably have as much affection for each as they possibly can muster. It would make absolutely no sense, whatsoever, to engage in the marriage process if both parties didn't feel an exchange of affection, respect and admiration at the outset. There might be some slight trepidation on the part of one or both of the parties, but generally once they're married it's anticipated that things will go fairly well — at least through the honeymoon.

Just how long does the honeymoon last? In most cases the honeymoon ends when spouses begin to see things they dislike about each other. A common phenomenon in a relationship is for people to pretend to be something they aren't until they get married, after which they lapse back into bad habits. When that occurs the honeymoon is pretty brief. It ends not because of a loss of affection, but rather a reversal of behavior and disappointment of expectation.

This adjustment period is true of any relationship, not just marriage, which is why the word “honeymoon” is often applied when someone takes on a new job, such as becoming a supervisor, leader, manager or fire chief. That honeymoon can be between the appointing authority and the appointee, or it could be between the appointee and subordinates. Because these relationships are different, one honeymoon may last longer than the other.

As I have examined the process of individuals getting promoted to the rank of fire chief, I have discovered that the concept of the honeymoon ranges from absolute zero to infinity. Some people are never given the opportunity to enjoy any degree of positive working relationship and others seem to cultivate it until the day they walk off the job. Which one are you?

More than 10 years ago I wrote about the concept of the 100-day war, which is the period of time that it takes to gain a foothold in a new fire department while earning respect and maintaining credibility. [Ed: See Chief's Clipboard, February 1996.] The 100-day war is not the same as the honeymoon, as the terms themselves declare. The honeymoon is that period of time when you can make mistakes and be forgiven. One of the things that determines how much forgiveness an organization has is how great the level of expectations was prior to tying the hiring knot.

Differing expectations often are the reason why former labor leaders suffer so miserably at the hands of their former followers when they cross that final line to become the chief of a department. Only a few weeks separate the union leader-turned-chief from knight in shining armor to sworn enemy. Generally, labor expects the new chief officer to continue the behavior that marked his or her leadership role in the union, but that often doesn't happen. Without belaboring the intricacies of why that doesn't happen, it should be noted that the difference between affection and disaffection is often just some minor changes in the behavior of one of the two parties.