Every firefighter and EMT has a personal collection of stories that would fit well into either "Ripley's Believe It or Not" or Murphy's Law. Over the years, we've come to believe dark humor helps firefighters deal with the stresses of tragic situations, a sort of kitchen-table therapy. There is, however, a fine line between stupid and illegal.

A few months back, a rather demeaning three-frame cartoon slamming local firefighters appeared in a California newspaper. Everyone knows public servants are fair game, so in response to a prank or two, a local cartoonist mocked the Sacramento Fire Department. Unfortunately, thanks to the Internet, the majority of firefighters across the country saw the cartoon and not only did they not appreciate the humor, they found it insulting. Was it offensive? Yes, but it certainly did bring nationwide fire service attention to some serious problems, and Sacramento is certainly not an isolated case!

For the past three months, we've heard about the "orange juice and vodka" happy hours in a large metropolitan city fire department. Perhaps those will taper off now that a lawsuit was filed by 28 of the department's officers asking a judge to intervene to stop alcohol abuse. If it's department policy, how do you not enforce zero-tolerance for alcohol or drugs? It's like being a little bit pregnant. Does it have to hit the news media before corrective action is taken?

A firefighter told me that his department enforces a strict seatbelt policy -- with exception of the dive-team members, who were told to get dressed while responding. The officer defended the exception, saying minutes were critical. "So is arriving on the scene," the firefighter replied.

A couple chiefs called in and were upset about a truck manufacturer that "promotes a speeding fire truck" in its ads. "How can they promote unsafe practices?" asked one chief. Flip a page and it's all about safety. Call the advertiser! You vote with your dollars, folks.

Another chief told us about a fire department that wants a burn facility that can create temperatures up to 2,000 degrees. Why? "So firefighters can know what a real fire is like." That's not training; that's flirting with cremation.

A press release arrived last month for fireproof firefighter underwear "like racecar drivers wear."

On a recent conference call with our editorial advisory board, I read an anonymous letter that I received. I usually ignore unsigned letters, but this one was disturbing. In response to a Command Post editorial about scandals in the fire service, the writer asked, "How about a volunteer company who has under-aged females bunking overnight? I'm talking about high school-aged girls with no firefighting training, therefore no apparent fire department-related reason to be there overnight. There is definitely a potential statutory rape situation here."

The letter went on to describe how the fire station was an "overnight hangout for sexually aggressive female teens." While the letter writer questioned the parents' awareness of the problem, I'd ask, "Where's the chief?"

When I finished the letter, I did not anticipate the immediate response from our advisory board members with names of fire departments that had similar problems.

I know, firefighters will be firefighters. Chicago Fire Commissioner Cortez Trotter made an interesting statement in an interview last year when he said, "You cannot afford to be in the apex of leadership in a fire department and view it as a big firehouse."

If the chief doesn't stop it, maybe your newspaper's cartoonist can help.

Janet Wilmoth, Editor